Chapter 11 – Trauma and Awareness

I sat down on a tree stump near the forest’s exit.

It’s been three days….. all this time, I’m just staying at this place. I would catch rabbit or pick edible plants from the surroundings when I got hungry. If I wanted to go to a toilet, I would use the bushes around. Otherwise, I’ve been crying while sitting on this stump.

(I don’t want to do anything….. Being alive is painful…..)

I got tired from crying and fell asleep.

(Uuu~…..)

I woke up the next day. I was in melancholy because the dream I had last night. Inside that dream, Sarona-san and Hero-sama were…..

(…..no, I don’t want to remember it.)

Various memories were floating inside my head. Memories from the past about Aria that I thought I had forgotten.

Once again, I cried myself until I fell sleep.

It was already midnight when I woke up. I scrubbed my eyes while absent-mindedly looking up to the sky.

The stars were so beautiful but I feel asleep again before I realized it.

On the next day, I spent a whole day spacing out.

On the next day, I also spent a whole day spacing out, and went to sleep while crying.

On the next day, I spent a whole day spacing out again. The stars were sparkling.

On the next day, once again, I spent a whole day spacing out.

On the next day, I felt a little better. Nuts are good.

On the next day, some monster attacked. I killed them.

On the next day, my energy had returned.

On the next day, I washed my body and clothes in a river. I felt much better.

On the next day, I went out of the forest to look for the town.

There was a highway near the forest’s exit. I didn’t have any purpose or destination in particular, so I was simply walking leisurely.

I was almost crying whenever I remembered about Aria and Sarona-san. However, I forced myself to believe that they would surely be happy without me.

(We won’t be able to meet each other anymore, Yuyuna and Ruruna. Even though we just became a good friend.)

I felt so sad whenever I think about it, but it couldn’t be helped…..

(Face forward! Even someone like me will surely find another friends later!!)

(I’m sure….. maybe….. probably…..)

I thought it would be better to give up looking for a lover. I didn’t believe there was someone who would fall in love with me.

Setting that aside, there’s something on my mind right now. It’s about my status. The battle at the elven village didn’t make any sense…. I mean, my opponents were too weak. No matter how much I was confident with my mediocrity, I couldn’t say it for sure anymore.

(Don’t tell me…. it’s not like they were weak…. but I was too strong…. no…. that’s impossible…. but….)

This is the first time I doubted my mediocrity.

When the horde monsters attacked the village, I thought they were just F-rank monsters…. but maybe… they were higher ranked monsters?

I thought that my status was around an F-rank adventurer’s….. But, is there such things as F-rank monsters?

I walked while endlessly wondering that but still couldn’t come to any conclusions.

“Oh well, I can see that when I make a guild card” (Wazu)

I stopped thinking too deeply about it.

Like I said before, it can be solved with a guild card. This is a magic tool which could confirm the status of an individual. When seeing the status indicated on guild card, my worries will be settled. Am I strong or just an ordinary? I will understand it that time. It’s no use in worrying about it right now.

Well then, I wonder what is this place. I didn’t remember how I ended up at that mountain. I wonder what town this road is leading to. If possible, I hope is not the Imperial Capital. Please, anywhere except that place…..

I walked along the way while hoping so. I thought that I would either be attacked by monsters or bandits, but none of that happened. The distance from the forest was gradually increased.

I walked on the road while looking at a horse-drawn carriage passing me. Finally, a large town surrounded by high walls, came into my view. I saw a lot horse-drawn carriage lined-up in front of its gate.

(Oh! The town I didn’t know!!)

The worst case scenario has been avoided. I lined-up to enter the town while feeling relived.

 

 

 

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